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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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The independent escort ladies have only one goal: to fulfil your wishes and give you a unique, exciting stay in Augsburg. Take a look around and find your personal first-class model. Our .

The parks in Augsburg? Bruh, Augsburg Botanical Garden on Haunstetter Straße is a secret wonderland. I once sat there after a super tough counseling session, and I swear, nature hugged me. Flowers, lush lawns, and shady trees – it whispers calm in a frantic, fumbly language, kinda like those fancy quotes in The Grand Budapest Hotel: "Keep your hands off my lobby!" But not really that dramatic, though, haha.

No. 2 Wartburg to host No. 1 Augsburg in annual Battle of the Burgs